he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
