I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
