am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You dont lie about slip and slides
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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