lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
