I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
