Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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