i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
