So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
