Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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