Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
foreskin is a definite game changer
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
