May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
this will be a night to untag.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain