After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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