So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!