Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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