David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
