where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize