Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
