his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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