you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
