omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
