Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
