Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
