i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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