He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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