If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
A+ Viking dick
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
