I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
