she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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