can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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