I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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