Swine flu. Run for my life!
Screwed.edu
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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