Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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