I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize