If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just cut my nipple shaving
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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