This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
