it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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