some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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