I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
