Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
