I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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