Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
