Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
ttyl tear gas
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
