Me. At least after what I've been through.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
