um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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