how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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