So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
