Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
