I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
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