'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
do herpes really smell.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
