pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
