I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
