dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize