Your mouth is God's brothel.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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