Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
