I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
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FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
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I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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