im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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