Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
