were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize