I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
