sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
