Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
