is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
