there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
