She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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