I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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