So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
