it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
